Play written from a 24 hour festival. A group got together with directors, playwrights and actors. We were paired up by drawing names out of a hat. A theme was voted on. The playwrights had from 8-12pm to write. Below is what I wrote. We also had the use of three props, three sound effects and lights on and off.
Acknowledgments to Melanie Morgenthaler!!
The Theme: The Morning After
The Title:
AFTER THE FALL
It is the night after a party. There is a boy and a girl stuck to the floor by their feet. They cannot reach each other. The girl is holding the sheep or it’s on the floor OR you can barely see its little head poking out OR it is not visible at all.
BOY: Can you move yet?
GIRL: No, not so much. At least I’m not hungry after all the food last night.
BOY: Who knew egg could be this sticky? Yeah, well, I didn’t get a lot of food. My stomach is seriously growling.
GIRL: What about the Grandmother?
BOY: Well, remember, that guy came along and took care of that? And then after than guy and his wife, there was nothing left. They, like, licked the platters clean.
GIRL: And the pig?
BOY: Had those brothers and there was nothing I could do after that. What’d you have to eat?
GIRL: Let’s see, there was plum pie, pumpkin pie, pudding pie, & cottage cheese
BOY: So not fair! Um.. allright, is there any way to get unstuck? I just don’t even know how this happened?
GIRL: I’m not sure how to get unstuck. I only know about sheep.
BOY: (buzz-pop sound effect)Oh, that’s my phone, hang on. Oh, hi mom.. mom? Mom? MOM! (yelling) MOM DID YOUR BUTT JUST CALL ME? Crap, I hate it when that happens, she never locks her phone. That’s ok, I don’t want her to know I was here last night. She doesn’t like everybody who comes to these things.
GIRL: Anyone in particular?
BOY: Well, there’s that trumpeter, he plays the Blues and she doesn’t like the Blues. D’ya know where he went? (looking around) Maybe he could help us?
GIRL: Pretty sure he passed out in the hay. The punch was uh.. spiked a bit, you know.
BOY: Doggone it? Hey, what about Hubbard’s dog?
GIRL: The old lady didn’t give him his bone and he went scrounging to gnaw on this massive shoe. Okay, to get unstuck… okay.. um… You know, I don’t know if I want YOU to get unstuck. You’re so hungry you’ll go after my sheep. I have one black one, you know that can produce three bags of wool and in this economy, I’ve got to take all I can get! I’m already claiming a loss for last year and there’s no subsidy for black wool anymore.
BOY: Oh yeah! You should try being in my trade sometime! Skulking in the woods isn’t what it used to be, especially since “sentivity training”. Can’t even approach little girls on the path to even help them carry stuff to Grandma’s! It’s so ridiculous! I’m not even interested so much in the sheep. I really prefer pork! That’s why that Sprat Guy and his massive wife (oh, I mean.. slenderly challenged) really made me mad with their eating all the lean AND the fat!
Ugh, I’m bored, maybe I’ll check the internet for an idea. Oooh, my facebook. If I put on my status we’re stuck.. hmmm… maybe. Oh look! The farmer in the Dell needs a brick for his Farmville!
GIRL: Oh yeah (pulls out phone).. Hey, Georgie Porgie liked my status! All-right! Wonder who’s on for chat. Woo-Hoo Little Miss Muffet… she’s the one who brought the cottage cheese.
BOY : YUCK! Wonder if I could get at least one leg moving.. My paws.. the fur is stuck in this egg. Hmm.. can I reach that .. whatever is in that..[goes for the coffee cup]. You know, you should be able to take off those little Mary Jane shoes and.. Hey, where are your shoes? [ Stands there holding cup looking at her..]
GIRL (giggling) Oh, well, uh.. you know “Ring around the Roses”? You take a shot if you actually fall when everyone else falls. I ummm.. lost them there. I think they’re in the mulberry bush.
BOY: Well, this stuff worked on one leg, but not the other, so I can move a little bit,. Maybe Huff? [tries huffing and puffing] Ohh, I really need to quit smoking!
GIRL: Shah! That was so totally effective. Like, you couldn’t even rustle the hairs on grandma’s chinny chin chin,dude.
BOY: Oh yeah, whadaya YOU got?
GIRL: Well I’m made of sugar and spice and everything nice, whereas YOU are made of .. icky puppy dog tails.
BOY: May I remind you that I am NOT a boy! Argh.. we seriously need a better plan. What’s in the news today [checks phone]. Hey, looks like there’s more fighting in the Congo. THAT’S WHAT WE CAN DO! Who do you know better, the Dutch Boy, or King Cole?
GIRL: Duh, King Cole is totally wrapped around my little finger! “Mary,” he said, “You just tell me what you want… pipe, jewled bowl, a little fiddling music? Name it and it’s yours!” I can have that power over Kings. Besides, I would never waste my time on anything but the gentry!
BOY: yeah, that’s not what I heard, but it doesn’t matter now. What matters is that we are stuck in this stuff on the floor and can’t move. We need a plan.
GIRL: Yeah, and it’s getting icky. There’s ants! Marching one by one, no.. make that two by two… nevermind.. three by three.. ackkkk they’re everywhere! This is soooo disgusting! [whining] I really need to get out of here! I have a blind date tonight!
BOY: Really – with.. no let me guess
BOY& GIRL TOGETHER: Three mice!
BOY: Here’s my plan, you call Cole, I’ll call Dutch, we need to get them mad at each other so there’s a war. We are a tiny little village in between them and one good blast will knock us free, I’m sure! You good with it?
GIRL: Absolutely, I’ll text him first. [speaking text] Hiya, its me and I really need to chat with the sexiest king at the party last night. [done] Ooh, and I’ll ad a wink grin. Okay. Oh, here he is. [answering-very flirty ] Hey, Kingy.. how’s it going. Listen, I’m always looking out for you, right? Well, I heard some recon last night that I thought you’d want to know. Looks like the Dutch are about to strike on your land. … No, I’m, like, totally serious! This guy from St. Ives and, like, a million wives and kids .. that’s all they were talking about. Apparently the Dutch are really mad about the defection of Mary, Mary quite contrary. They may have tulips and windmills, but they really wanted to corner the market on cockle shells. Yeah, they tried some garbage about needing them for their retaining wall, but I know that the Dutch Boy has been minister of the wall for, like, ever! [hand over the phone to “boy”- whispering] He bought it! He’s bringing in his Minister of War now. I heard something about the geese patrol.
BOY: Good job! My turn. [makes call] Hey Dutchy! No, I don’t need a duchy, I’m not able to visit you in Amsterdam right now. Hey, need you to know that Cole is looking to break your wall. No, seriously, dude! When have I ever lied to you? Oh, yeah, that one time with the guy in the place. But besides that? Cool. Glad you get me. Okay, here’s what he’s gonna do. He’s looking at using the geese. YAH, Mother’s Geese! I can’t believe it either, but also he said, and I quote: London Bridge is falling DOWN, and he wasn’t talking about London if you get what I’m sayin’. Right, you’d better be ready for a counter-attack. Maybe even operation “Twinkle Star”. Good. Just doing you a favor, man. [to mary] We’re all good on my side.
GIRL: I would have thought the Kings Horses and men would have done a MUCH better job of handling this mess! [GEESE SOUND EFFECT] Ahhh, Mother of Goose! Here come the geese squadron! Oh, my poor sheep!
[more geese sound effect]
BOY: Yeah, yumm… the uh.. poor sheep.
[huge explosion the two are literally knocked off their feet and are free]
GIRL: I can move! Yay, I can go on my date tonight. Oh, wait another one
[geese continuously with explosion]
BOY: I wonder if it’s over yet.
[there is a very still silence as they look waiting for anymore sound, but there is none]
BOY: I think we’re good. You have that “date” and I have skulking to do. Hmm.. what’s on my agenda for tonight. Pretty sure I had to meet up with these musicians from Bremen at this fabulous club. [checks phone] What the Mother of Goose! Hey, Mary, looks like your lamb there is really a recon officer for the UN.
GIRL: NO! You mean..
BOY: Yeah, the United Nursery! Just got an email from my attorney, Dish, that we’re being tried by a tribunal for warcrimes!
GIRL: what?! Let me check.. Hey, MY attorney, Spoon, sent me a FB and a myspace to let me know that I’m being sued by the Dutch for destruction of property.
BOY: Ack, I’m being sued by Cole for the same. We need a new plan..
GIRL: Well, Spoon says here that he “didn’t” mention it, but I could take a ride over the moon on our old friend..
BOY AND GIRL TOGETHER: COW!
They run off to find cow.
